Agape Love

"Let it go," they tell me. "I don't know how," I respond. 

I have tried for years to let go of the sins of my past. And for years, I have failed. Why? I always ask myself. I would constantly seek guidance because I couldn't understand why it wasn't all going away, why it was still there. And in the past few months, God has completely wrecked my heart. "You can't let go of the things of your past when you've worked so hard to bury them," He told me. I lived by the "forgive and forget" lifestyle. I forgave myself, so I thought, and I forgot what happened. But that just was the problem. I legitimately forgot. I buried things so deep inside me, hoping they'd disappear in time. And what I didn't bury, I held onto so tight that my fingers turned blue. When God revealed that to me, or when I finally shut up and listened to Him telling me that for once, it all came back. I suddenly remembered everything. Every bit of it. And I felt dirty and broken all over again. 

But in these past few months, I've finally opened up and let God take all of the trash of my past, and He has showered me with love. His incredible, never ending, beautiful love. With a love like that, ain't nobody got time to be dwelling on the past. Letting go is hard, and I think I can honestly say it's the biggest struggle I've had. But God's presence is incomparable to any of the earthly pleasures the world tries to sell to us. It's not that cheap, temporary love. It's that out of this world, forgiving, forever-embracing love. Looking back on these last few years, it's all I can do but to just shake my head and laugh at my foolishness. I wasted so much time burying things and forcing a smile onto my face. Time that could have been used to melt in His love. But hey, as I've begun to stop wasting time, I realized that God had been there all along, arms open wide. He has embraced me even through the dirty, dark times. Times I thought I couldn't be loved. But HE loved me all along. And His love ain't like no earthly love you've ever experienced. Don't know what that feels like? Open the door to your heart, and let God pour in. 

 'Cause this is a love you won't wanna miss.